I am in the process of sorting and sifting through mounds of accumulated stuff-- and shedding what is no longer needed or wanted. A few days ago, frustrated by the appearance that despite all that I had already discarded the mass did not seem to be shrinking, I grabbed stuff by hands full from a closet that had been used for storage since 1997—our first year in this house.
Those things came in boxes from the house of the previous 14 years, so I supposed that not having glanced at the contents for over fifteen years I would be completely safe to toss those things out by the handfuls. Those who are not keepers of things would say with absolute certainty if you have not used it or seen it or needed it in 15 years; you can certainly do without it.
They would be…well… I‘ll tell you what happened and let you judge for yourself.
Before I tell you the story, allow me to share with you the things I treasure.
Photos
I love photos —I have taken maybe millions—I am not sure that is an exaggeration—in fact, it is even precise to say I have taken UNTOLD NUMBERS of photo. I have many witnesses to this in addition to the evidence of the photos themselves.
Gifts
I am not a re-gifter okay? If someone cared enough to give me a gift, over time the gift comes to represent the person and then I become unwilling to part with the item…it would be like, throwing out the person who gave it to me. I cherish the thing as a symbol of the person whom I love.
Cards
Some cards are even more precious to me than gifts. My love language is words of affirmation. If someone wrote something lovely about me at any time, whether on a scrap of paper or elegant card that becomes for me a valuated possession.
Hand- written letters
These are more precious to me than gold, silver, lottery tickets, or real estate.
Over a period of thirty-five plus years of adult living, I have managed to accumulate items in just these four categories—lots of these items. But the list continues.
Work product of one of my offspring…who can place a value on these?
David at six drew illustrations of his stories and favorite people—I am honored to say I have been the subject of his art from time to time. Since middle school he has turned colorful squares of paper into origami creations
When she was four years old, several of Kate’s water colors were displayed at a local museum art show. Her drawings won top prizes in a Christmas card design contest when she was six and seven. Eyslyn writes sweet notes. She and her sister copied and distributed the “K & E Newspaper” in which they wrote about events in our home and in our neighborhood when they were five and six years old...
Then there were the home video cassette recordings. There are the usual home videos to be sure of Disney World trips, birthdays, and baby’s first baths. Priceless among them, though there was the video of their first movie.
The production was “The Blue Fairy Princess”, filmed on location in the den of 402 (our first house). It was written by and starred Kate and Eyslyn. David was the grip on the movie. I narrated and videotaped. How do you put a price on a treasure like that?
I have bought and been given libraries of books. It is hard to part with any of them.
It is not that I think I will read them again… although I certainly have told myself that. I keep them though partly because I might want to read them again… so why buy them twice?
Actually, I have bought the same book twice— on more than one occasion. I have been shopping in the most fun place on earth—no, not Disney world—a book store of course!--and found an interesting book bought it, brought it home … only to find its twin was already on one of my many book shelves! I like what I like--- even if I don’t remember that I already own it.
I could go on but I believe I have more than made my point.
So the other night I went through that closet with zeal and efficiency giving but cursory glances through hands full at a time of papers etc. and throwing them into boxes to be discarded. I amassed half a dozen boxes. The boxes made from the closet to the room to the hall where they lingered for a week.
Day by day I would take one then another of these discard boxes and lug it to the trash collection area. At long last, last night there was but one box remaining which I hauled to the collection point and began to pour the contents into a large trash bag. That is when it happened.
Some items fell out and scattered on the floor. Something caught my eye so I scooped up the whole collection and retired to my recliner with two trash bags at the ready and began a more careful sifting of the contents.
Here is some of what I recovered in those papers that I’d just collected from the trash:
A letter from my first best friend of the Caucasian persuasion whom I’d met in 1973; her letter was dated 10 August 1997.
An envelope from my mom with a clipping of the funeral notice an elderly gentleman whom I’d admired for decades. He had made a contribution to the community, his family, his patients and to the world—but what he is treasured for in this family is that he ‘threw’ Beloved and me together on the evening on which Beloved had first asked for my phone number… and I told him, “ It’s in the book”. J
… A little beautifully illustrated poem to our daughters signed “from Grandmother Bernice” in her precious beautiful script.
… A clipping indicating that a pioneer woman newspaper publisher would be speaker Emory University. Her newspaper had been one of the three local newspapers that published my weekly column the first five years of my medical practice. Mom sent all that along with the doctor’s funeral notice and the poem for the girls in December 1997.
A cartoon from the funny paper that the girls must have cut out and glued to a sheet …it featured the cast of characters from the Wizard of Oz… their favorite play that year.
I wonder if that was the same year that Kate dressed as Dorothy. She wore a with blue and white check pinafore –made by her Auntie Nana—and with the white blouse. She carried a little basket with her little dog Toto inside.
Kate had nearly outgrown her red Mary Jane’s that she so dearly loved. I had sprayed them with adhesive and covered them with red glitter to make Dorothy’s “ruby red slippers”.
David’s costume was that of the Tin Man, though sadly I did not use nearly strong enough “tin” (foil). Eys was Toto…a Dalmatian with floppy ears more like a sad bunny I think—though she loved it. Toto had in a previous usage been a lamb at the manger scene the Christmas before.
A friend Ginny H. had sent me a gift of “art and poetry”-- that is what the envelope said.
It contained an R. Kelly Clown print and a poem.
A birthday card from my brother Butch October 1997 and the most precious of all…
A hand-written letter from my dear brother Butch dated December 11, 1997 in which he referenced a phone call we’d had the night before the letter was written.
In his letter, he conveyed his “deepest Love and Respect”; prayers; gratitude, and hope for his future. He wrote:
“My life and my time are rapidly filling up with good things. I am being surrounded by good people, especially at work, on both jobs. I am finally getting my life together in a positive way and the potential for bigger and better things exist where I can see them clearly and I am heading straight for them…
I truly love you and I am deeply appreciative of your love and support for me. Please say to the members of your prayer group that their prayers are being answered on a daily basis and that I and my brother veterans are truly grateful and please to continue.
In January I’ll receive a certificate of completion and at the following Graduation after my thirteen weeks of aftercare I will also graduate this program. Isn’t that wonderful.
I am becoming more and more active in my religious practice and taking part in more activities. On the twentieth of Dec (20 Dec) I will M.C. our District meeting what a great benefit and I will share my experience with the members of my District and their guests.
I have been given a tremendous opportunity to show what prayer, compassion and love can do to heal a spiritual being. And hopefully inspire and motivate another soul who maybe suffering now as I have in the past.
Please express my deepest love and appreciation to and for your family. Pray all of you have a blessed and safe holiday and share with each other all the love, joy and compassion each of you can realize in your life.
Thank you so much for the gifts you are sending me. This letter is prior to my receiving the box you sent me. This is thanks in advance.
My deepest love and Respect
Your loving Brother,
Butch
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